ISO 9000 Work
Document number: 9062114
Date Effective: Yesterday
Owner of process: Everyone
Approved by: No-one
ISO 9000 standard work instructions are being mandated in
organizations around the world for product manufacture,
documentation, software development, and other processes.
However, success and failure in most organizations is more
dependent on employee satisfaction with their environment than on
any other factor. Employees who describe their jobs as actually
being "fun" are typically between two to three times as
productive as the employee who, for example, describes his or her
job as "unrelieved, living hell without the upside".
This ISO 9000 standard attempts to address this requirement by
identification of activities that increase the likelihood of
having fun on the job. Addition of the final ingredient, actual
"fun" itself, can only be done by you.
This document applies to all organizations, and to all groups
within the organization.
The following references are applicable to this document.
- Adams, Scott; Build a Better Life.
- Augustine, Norman R.; Augustine's Laws.
- Parkinson, C. Northcote; Parkinson's Law.
Fun: Consisting of elements of animation, bliss,
buoyancy, cavorting, cheer, chuckles, delight, ecstasy,
frivolity, frolicking, gags, gaiety, gladness, glee, happiness,
jests, jokes, joviality, joy, laughter, light-heartedness,
merriment, mirth, play, pleasantries, quips, rapture, sport,
tranquillity, and witticism.
5. Entry Criteria
To achieve consistent levels of fun, an organization requires
a predisposition to cooperation, enjoyment, tolerance, and
The following sections identify activities to maximize the
possibility of creation of a fun work environment.
- Define their job description as employees of the rest of
- Provide all required resources for staff to perform their
- Mandate attendance by employees at no more than four
hours of meetings a week. No meeting will be called
without an agenda.
- Ensure that progress reports written by employees require
no more than thirty minutes a week to complete.
- Place the highest priority on planning to make overtime
unnecessary to the greatest extent possible.
- Practice MBWA (management by walking around) at frequent
- Have lunch one-on-one with a junior member of the staff
at least once a month. Management pays.
- Make it known that promotion to positions of greater
responsibility will be based purely on merit, plus proof
that at least one of the candidate's subordinates can do
their work as well as they can.
- Give credence to estimates developed by employees, and
refrain from imposition of unrealistic schedules based on
non-real world factors.
- On the nicest day of the year, make a company-wide
announcement that a severe storm may be threatening the
area and the entire building must be vacated by noon.
- Ensure that marketing realistically represents
- Share credit for all successes, and take responsibility
for all failures.
- Implement profit-sharing with all levels of the
- Place first priority on fulfillment of the goals of the
overall organization, curtailing the construction of
individual empires unrelated to business goals.
- Respect all other personnel independent of area
- Share their knowledge with all other personnel to
increase the overall organizational expertise.
- Never employ technical double-talk to impede
understanding. Personnel will say they don't know when
they don't know.
- Write documents so they can be understood. Brevity will
be prized. Clarity will be attained.
- Relate to their boss the way they would like employees to
relate to them if they were the boss.
Support Staff will:
- Facilitate the smooth functioning of the organization in
all aspects for which they have responsibility,
eliminating bureaucracy and inter-departmental turf wars.
- Never delay with red tape or other impediments required
activity by other elements of the organization. Excessive
and unnecessary completion of forms will be eliminated.
Human Resources will:
- Ensure that all personnel receive a minimum of three
weeks vacation a year. Up to three weeks of unused
vacation will be permitted to be carried over from one
year to the next.
- Facilitate flexible working hours to accommodate
employee's lives outside the office.
- Provide all personnel with adequate medical, dental, and
disability insurance. Excessive completion of forms will
be eliminated, and repayment of expenses will be provided
within five business days.
- Ensure that jerks, meanies, and evil spawn of Satan are
subjected to corrective action, followed by psychological
counseling at company expense if required. Refusal to
respond will result in allocation to a peripheral group,
where they are unable to do damage to the rest of the
organization, and have to work exclusively with each
other until reformed.
- Ensure that personnel at every level of the organization
receive at least two weeks of training a year.
- Ensure that all personnel are able to see at least one
window and three live plants from their working area.
- Ensure that bathroom stalls are a minimum of three feet
wide. Toilet paper must have a roughness level less than
plywood. Water taps must stay open a minimum of fifteen
seconds after being turned on.
- Make printable whiteboards and an abundant supply of
markers in at least three colors available to all staff.
- Provide a computer to all personnel with a processor no
more than two generations old, a color screen at least 15
inches in diagonal, 12 megabytes of memory, 200 megabytes
of disk, a word processor, spreadsheet, and graphics
program, and email and world wide web access to the
- Use only incandescent or full-spectrum fluorescent lights
throughout the office area.
All personnel will:
- Strive for excellence and continuous quality improvement
in all aspects of their job.
- Maintain a sense of humor at all times. Voices will never
be raised -- occasional laughter excepted.
- Never promise results that cannot be produced. If
circumstances prevent the fulfillment of a commitment,
notification will be provided as far in advance as
- Desist from spreading harmful gossip about other
personnel, and maximize discussion of their co-workers
- Respect all co-workers as human beings of equal value. No
personnel will attempt to increase their sense of self
esteem by decreasing that of others. All personnel will
be gender, disability, religion, and color blind.
- Refrain from interrupting other members of the
organization, allowing all personnel to express their
thoughts fully. Personnel will actually listen to the
opinions of others. Personnel will change their minds
without hesitation when improved ideas are advanced by
- Refrain from complaining, substituting constructive
suggestions for improvement instead.
- Congratulate others on their work at every possible
opportunity. Mention of specifics is mandatory. Thanks
will be given for appreciation.
- Never come to work with a contagious or infectious
- Erase whiteboards at the end of each meeting.
- Take coffee from the second pot. Personnel will make a
new pot of coffee when the second pot is empty.
- Smile at least twice an hour, for at least five seconds
7. Exit Criteria
This ISO 9000 process reaches an end-state when all members of
the organization look forward to coming to work at the beginning
of each day, and leave at the end of each day with a genuine
sense of joy, self-worth, and achievement. Failure to have fun
will not be tolerated. This standard supersedes all previous
issues, and takes precedence over the constitution.
Please send additions, comments, and requests for the latest
version to William Stewart at firstname.lastname@example.org
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